THE VALUE OF "DOWNTIME"
This edition of THE ENTERPRISE is late. We spent last week in FL with friends--a couple about the same age as we were--doing what we enjoyed. The guys played some golf (not so well, but the courses and the weather were magnificent). The girls "ran around" and shopped. We had a few nice meals outdoors in places that overlooked a harbor, a lagoon, and a beach. We saw an air show, and a "parade" of boats (actually in protest of some fishing regulations!). We watched 7 hours of JOHN ADAMS, the marvelous HBO mini-series that every American, especially the younger generation should watch. It was a wonderfully done dramatization of the birth of our country, and much, much more. It really brought history to life for me.
MEMORABLE EVENTS—I
We watched some football on TV too. (Yes, Ohio State beat Penn State in a big game!) We dined at home, too. On Sunday, my wife and I went to Mass in Miramar Beach FL, and there, a couple of "small things" registered on my "happiness meter." Behind the choir were a couple of music stands in the aisle. Sitting at the frontmost stand in a wheel chair was a lady who had to be less than 5 ft. tall and no less than 90 years old. During one of the most upbeat hymns, she grabbed a tambourine and started shaking it to the music. What a joyful sight.
MEMORABLE EVENTS—II
When we arrived at the church earlier, we met the parish priest--a tall slender graying man, probably in his late 40's, whose name was Father Guido (no joke!), who introduced us to his golden retriever, Bridget, who was standing by him in the entry of the church--soaking wet. She apparently had found a swimming pool unsecured and gone for a dip. Nevertheless, there she was, mingling with people arriving at church, hoping for pat on the head or a scratch behind the ears. At the end of Mass, as Father Guido led the procession from the altar, Bridget trotted up to him and joined the procession. Father Guido reached down and handed his hymnal to Bridget, who took it in her mouth and carried it out of church right along side him. Such a simple thing brought smiles to the faces of all who were visiting that Sunday.
Then, last Monday, we watched the approach of hurricane Ida, wondering how close it would come and how bad it would get. The good news was, not too close, and not too bad. It broke up into a "tropical storm" and rapidly moved on--leaving lots of rainfall and flooding in some areas.
NOW WHAT?
Most of all, a week of "total downtime" provides thinking time. My friend and I are about the same age, and I posed this question to him. Statistically, when a man reaches our age, he has about 15 years of life left. Since both of us have "retired" from traditional jobs (he as the Dean of a University), my question to him was: what do you plan to do for the next 15 years? I think about that often. It is not a trivial question.
For those readers who are younger, the question is equally non-trivial, and perhaps even more important because you have more years in which to do... what? And to be ... what?
A SERIES OF EIGHT QUESTIONS FOR YOU:
1--How are you?
When Matthew Kelly asks that at the beginning of a speech, there is usually a spattering of "fine," "good," or "OK," from the audience. His reply is usually "We'll see!" ... So I ask you again: HOW ARE YOU? What do you say? What would others around you say? You see, that simple question is not simple at all. It is a complex, vexing and meaningful question—followed by either default non-answers like "fine," or by profound answers that really attempt to describe "how you are."
2--What excites you?
Are there parts of your life that excite you? Are there parts of your work (or avocation) that excites you? Are there people that excite you, just by being around them? I realized one day a week or so ago, that life means having a reason to get up in the morning and look forward to something that excites you--either that day, or sometime in the not too distant future. Without that, why not just sleep the day away? Some would say that is a sign of depression, and perhaps it is. We all need something to excite us, and it is NOT the acquisition of material things! That process might keep us excited for a short time, but even the greatest new acquisition loses its exciting newness pretty fast. What is more likely to excite us is an experience, a task, a relationship or all of them taken together.
3--What do you want to be? (corollary question: What do you want to do?)
What are you now? Is it what you want to be? If so, why? If no, why? These are very important three word questions. Think about them for a minute or two (silence of 1-2 minutes seems like a long time, and silence is what good thinking time requires). IF you are not now what you want to be, or if you are not now doing what you want to be doing, why? What are you going to do about that condition? How will you become what you want to be or start doing what you want to do? The simple answer is one step at a time, slowly, steadily, relentlessly. No big "jumps." Those are hard, risky, and you might land someplace else entirely.
4--What are your priorities?
Deciding what's important and in what order is arguably the most difficult task in life. It is equally difficult in business--unless a "boss" defines them for you--but you still need to define your own priority order. Family, is the answer most people give, as their top priority and then day after day, week after week, they put other things ahead of family. Work, mundane outside activities, pushy people, urgent but not important things like house-work, yard-work, shopping, paying bills, etc. Sure, these all must be done, but in what order of importance? One of Stephen Covey's best "Habits" in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was "Put First Things First." Really simple; really true; really not so easy, in today's interruption filled life.
Ironically, in studies done by Covey's organization more than a decade ago, the one word that always showed up in the top three in many countries other the USA and never showed up here was freedom. We take it for granted, but many, many other nations wish they had it. Perhaps we need to pay closer attention to protecting our freedom.
5--What is the difference between pleasure and happiness?
This simple distinction matters a lot. That new purchase may give you momentary pleasure, or even longer than momentary if it is something you use a lot. But does it give you happiness? I doubt it. Happiness is a feeling that persists much longer than the momentary enjoyment of a material acquisition. It revolves around people who matter, doing things that matter, enjoying them now and much beyond now. Think really hard about the last time you felt truly happy. When was it? What was going on around you? How were you involved? Where and when can you find more occasions like that?
6--Business is just an extension of life
In business, what does your customer want? To be happy and satisfied. What makes your customer and their customer (your consumer or end user) happy? The old rules say that: Rule 1--"The customer is always right; Rule 2--When the customer is wrong, refer to rule one." I'd say, help the customer to figure out what makes him/her (and his/her customer) happy, and you will be a long way to making everything better, and easier.
7--Why did you deserve success? (or conversely, why did you not?)
It amazes me how this question paralyzes people. Why did you get that order vs. the competitor? Why did you win over the competition?If you did not succeed, what caused this--honestly--and don't blame it on someone else. Whether in business or in life, figuring out why things came out in your favor is a very, very important step. Understanding why and how failure occurred allows correction with learning and improves the chances of success in the future. Take the time to think about this. Find a quiet place (churches are good for this), and really examine the answers to these 7 simple questions. Then add an 8th one.
8--When and how and why did you delight people who were important to you?
Start with family and loved ones. Move on to think about friends and acquaintances. Then think about business partners--customers, associates, suppliers, and so forth. You see, the most important element in your life, the one thing that gives meaning to everything you do, everything you hope to be, is ... PEOPLE! People give meaning to life. People give context to happiness. People enrich our experiences and enable our happiness.
THERE YOU HAVE IT
Downtime is good for the spirit and the mind. Most of all, it is good for clearing the mind of clutter and gaining (or regaining) "perspective." Since this edition will "straddle" last weekend and this one, hopefully readers will find it causes them to stop and think--just as I did this past week. Find some happiness--and someone to enjoy and share it with. It makes life so much more enjoyable--and you will want to jump out of bed in the morning.
Best, John
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PS: While we were gone, our daughter Susie moved in and cared for Kobe (our 11-1/2 year old, 6 lb. Maltese dog) during our trip, and did a great job--but he was one happy dog to have both of us back here to spoil him "full time." When he was diagnosed with congestive heart disease two years ago, they gave him 6-12, maybe 18 months. So far, he's made it for two full years, so who knows how long he'll hang around. As long as he is around, he's a great one for being "silent" --especially when I am getting profound, like this. (Our Susie has survived so many life threatening health events, that every day we have her is a blessing. She is one of about 20-25 people in the world surviving with her type of condition and bypass.)
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"The question is not whether to plan for life after death; the question is whether to plan for life before death." —Doug Dempsey
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John L. Mariotti, President & CEO, The Enterprise Group, Phone 614-840-0959 http://www.mariotti.net http://mariotti.blogs.com/my_weblog/
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